Matt Townsend Relationship Seminar

My ward was invited to a fireside Sunday night and Cody and I were excited to go. Throughout Pharmacy School we had an awesome relationship seminar & Institute. Bro. Anderson would come to our school and feed everyone lunch and then share his thoughts- he is the best speaker I have ever heard my whole life, and because our class was small my friends and I knew him on a first name basis. I learned so much from him about work and personal relationships and he truly blessed my life.
Matt Townsend was such a good speaker. He was very accurate in the way he described men and women. The first thing he said was that in general studies show that with each child, marriage satisfaction decreases by 20%- (Bishop Buck sitting behind us wispered something about having 5 kids= 0 Satisfaction :o) But Family Satisfaction goes up. That is why when people become empty nesters their divorce rate increases by 16%. He stressed actively making Marriage satisfaction constant instead of like a decending staircase.
I love the way he talked about marriage. He said to share your stories by saying "my neighbors have this problem.." And he kept saying do any of your neighbors do this...? The funny part was all of our neighbors were sitting right next to us! 
My favorite analogy he gave was about smoke and fire. He said that every marriage has its problems or its smoke. And most people who die in house fires actually die from the smoke. So everyday things you argue about are the smoke but the fire are the real underlying problems. The fire stems from feeling STARVED. Starved stands for 7 things every person needs in their marriage (He used Christ as an example throughout the lecture):
S- Safety- physical, social, emotional, financial. He talked a lot about our relationship with Christ and how Christ provides us with Safety.
T-Trust- Character, honest, decent, competent
A- Appreciation- House Chores, Work
R-Respect- Men feel much more shame, money, priesthood holder, father.
V-Validation- Woman with a blood issue who touched Christs robes- "You and your faith hath made thee whole."
E- Encourage- No more encouraging person than the Savior- "Go  and sin no more" He didn't have to lecture the women who was going to be stoned for her sin.
D- Dedication- Don't wait for the other person to change.

He ended with having a covenant marriage and how it is different. He gave ideas for those times when you are soooo mad. Think about the Savior. Think of you and your spouse meeting the Savior at the gates of Heaven. Imagine what they would say and do. Write those things down and refer back the them to find peace at those times.

Here is his website if you want to find out more: http://www.marriagemattersutah.com/

I have told my Mom and others about this seminar and wanted to share my notes with anyone who could benefit. Marriage is not easy but it is so great when you can figure it out and be happy. Cody and I have had a hard year. We have had many trials but with each trial we have grown so much. All I know is I would not stand to be in a crappy marriage. Cody and I have seem some good and some bad- and the good is what makes us the happiest so that is what we strive for.